Finding Something Missing...

I find myself often thinking about the basis of the American declaration of independence. That of course being life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. First off, at what point does love start to take shape? How does one become vulnerable but keep their heart guarded at the same time? This I don't know. A little frustration of mine is one-sided relationships. I am guilty of this, I know, but I hate having an interest in someone who, whether intentionally or not, is just simply not responding. You know? Been there? It sucks. I mean, you just want to be honest with this person, that means a lot to you... and it's not that you wouldn't, or even that you aren't trying! It's that the opportunity isn't presenting itself... plus, let's be honest: the last thing you want to do is be pushy or play easy to get. Frustrating. Anyways...

I think that there are important things in this pursuit of happiness that go beyond what you can find in any other person. I think that a lot of time we don't spend enough time on self reflection and self investment to the point that we forget we are ourselves before we are something to someone else [friend, brother, father, etc...]. Obviously, it is pretty important to do these things. To be recluse and figure ourselves out before we try to pry in or out of other people's lives.

This is one thing that makes me happy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ4hEW2ViUk&feature=channel

~KL~

As of right now, these are the albums that have changed my life the most:

1. It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All A Dream! It's Alright! - mewithoutYou
2. The Devil and God are Raging Inside of Me - Brand New
3. The Alchemy Indexes - Thrice
4. Underoath - They're Only Chasing Safety
5. Futures - Jimmy Wat World
6. Skin and Bones - Foo Fighters
7. The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place - Explosions in the Sky
8. Cool Hand Luke - The Fires of Life
9. Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star Volume IV - Coheed & Cambria
10. Slowly Going The Way Of The Buffalo - MxPx
11. To Keep Me From Sinking - Means
12. Sometimes- City & Colour
13. In Our Bedroom After The War - Stars
14. Sagarmatha - The Appleseed Cast
15. Old Crows/Young Cardinals - Alexisonfire

~KL~

Frozen in Mid-Summer...

I find that there is one thing that hits me all the time: music. Sometimes it gives me shivers so intense that I literally shake in my seat. Today that song is "23" by Jimmy Eat World.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MLWzTKVg_E&feature=related

I think this song hits me partially because of memories I have, but also because of where I am in my life. The lyrics are as follows:

{I thought for sure last night, that once we said goodbye, no one else will know these lonely dreams. No one else will know that part of me. I'm still driving away, and I'm sorry every day. I won't always love these selfish things. I won't always live, not stopping.

It was my turn to decide, I knew this was our time. No one else will have me like you do No one else will have me, only you. You'll sit alone forever, if you wait for the right time. What are you hoping for? I'm here, and now, I'm ready. Holding on tight, don't give away the end. The one thing that stays mine...

Amazing still it seems, I'll be 23. I won't always love what I'll never have. I won't always live in my regrets. You'll sit alone forever, if you wait for the right time. What are you hoping for? I'm here and now I'm ready. Holding on tight, don't give away the end. The one thing that stays mine...

You'll sit alone forever, if you wait for the right time. What are you hoping for? I'm here and now I'm ready. Holding on tight, don't give away the end. The one thing that stays mine...

You'll sit alone forever, if you wait for the right time. What are you hoping for? I'm here and now I'm ready. Holding on tight, don't give away the end. The one thing that stays mine...}

I look upon where I've been, and I find that these words speak forth so many of my emotions. My feelings of selfishness and regret, impatience and loneliness. Amazing still it seems, I am 23... I won't always love what I'll never have, I won't always live in my regrets. Today I feel hopeless. Like I will always be 23 and living in my dad's basement. No place of my own, no place to have, my selfish dreams. When I do dream, I don't see them as all selfish, but there are things that I want for myself. I'll sit alone forever, if I wait for the right time... I want to know what I'm hoping for.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GvE-VeGMKs&feature=related

~KL~