Well, one of my New Years resolutions was to blog more, and seeing as it's only been 5 months, I'm well ahead of last year. As per usual, music inspires me to write. Over the last few months, things have changed for me so much. I've started a new job youth pastoring, I've moved into my own place, I have bills, and all things et cetera. But even in all this change there has been things that are constant, and I don't just mean God (sometimes I hate having to point out the obvious). But I mean things like doubt. I mean, I heard it so many times, "Once you're married, it doesn't mean that you'll never struggle with lust again, in fact it may come at you harder." Even knowing this, I still think that i expected to instantly be close to God once I started this job. And that hasn't really been the case. In fact, I often still doubt, but not about things that I used to. By doubts have changed from God's existence and involvement to my own capabilities, which means, that I must lean harder on my faith to do what I don't believe I can do. And now I find myself referring back to something I heard while still in my youth: God isn't so much focussed on the results, but he's focussed on the effort. I know I don't have to be perfect, I'd like to be... I think that would make things significantly easier in a lot of ways. But I'm not, and I won't ever be. And I'm ok with that. Now to the music reference:

"Everest" by The Emerson Letters (Northcote)

Everest, Everest, I've reached so far, dreamt many dreams, before I knew you

I was lost in my youth, in the deep deep snow, I climbed so high, but I did not

Stop when I was alone in this whipping wind, I will say, I will say

We will see this through, we will see it

We will see this through, we will see it

Cause we won't go, till the climate takes us, we will see this through

Everest, Everest, I've reached so far, dreamt many dreams, before I knew you.

I was lost in my youth, in the deep deep snow, I climbed so high, but I did not

Stop when I was alone in this whipping wind, I will say, I will say

We will see this through, we will see it

We will see this through, we will see it

Cause we won't go, till the climate takes us, we will see this through

We will see this through...

"fin"

I hope that in the face of this whipping wind, I will see this through...

~KL~