Drugs

I promised myself I would blog about my caffeine fast...

This will be boring for the majority of people, and will probably sound like a pandemic of teenage dribble, but it's for me, not for you... You're just welcomed to share in it.

So here it goes:

For every day, there's a new cup of coffee... or pot of coffee in my case. Put factors like no sleep schedule, and addictive personality, and a busy like together in combination and you've set yourself up for something. For me, it was an addiction to caffeine, both in the form of coffee and energy drinks (which were by far the major culprit). At one point, I steered away from energy drinks because they had so much sugar and calories in them, but then when you have 15 and 20 calorie options, there wasn't much holding me back.

My issue started on November 9. I got up super early to head to Winnipeg for the weekend to visit with friends, and in the time it took me to drive to Medicine Hat from Strathmore, I had already had a Large Double Double and two Rockstars, which is already over the daily recommended intake. I ended up having to turn back because of weather, and a very bitter me went to bed when I got home. When I woke up, I had gotten a message that an old roommate from college was coming by, and needed a place to stay for a few days, and me being on vacation (and having my trip cancelled), was more than willing to accomodate. 

The next week consisted of literally nothing but video games, movies, and caffeine for me. On Wednesday the 14 of November, I found myself unable to sleep, lying in bed for 4 hours without any real rest. So I decided to make coffee and just stay up to the next night. The problem was, I was drinking so many energy drinks and so much coffee that I had the same problem the next day. During that 5 day work week, I had consumed 4 weeks worth of caffeine, culminating on November 15 with 4 energy drinks, and the equivalent of 2 and a half pots of coffee (I just lost track at some point as to what was being consumed) in the span of an 8 hour work day. On the night of the 15, I had actually managed to fall asleep, but was awoken around 3:00AM, unable to breathe, and having muscle spasms in both of my legs, and what felt like an irregular heartbeat, from what I assumed was a lack of breathing. 

When I had collected myself, and caught my breath, I googled what I had just gone through because there was no way I was going to a doctor or a hospital. Of all my searches, Caffeine Toxicity was the number return on my searches. Of the 15 symptoms it listed, I was experiencing 9-10 of them, some of them for as long as 2 years.

I managed to fall back to sleep, and the first thing I did was lie out my empty cans and coffee cups from the last two days, and it covered up half of my dining room table. It was when it was laid out in front of me that I realized how bad my issue was, and I needed to do something. So I decided that on Sunday the 18 of November I would start a 4 week caffeine fast, and I spent the weekend before trying to wean myself off of it. I decided, no sodas, coffees, or energy drinks during the span of my fasting (with the one exception being that I would have some Coke on Grey Cup Sunday). 

Fasting Started

I had no idea, but the next 2 weeks would almost be the end of me. I would have trouble staying awake for anything over 20 minutes at a time. I was napping every day, sometimes more than once a day. Basic thoughts were hard for me to put together. Like, I know it sounds dumb, but there was literally one morning where I remember sitting in my car and being so frustrated that I couldn't remember where to put my key to start it. Looking back, I'm glad I caught it when I did; because if I had carried on with that lifestyle, I don't know how long I would have lasted. My body was giving me every warning that I was closely approaching my expiration date. I had a headache that lasted for 15 days, and I never get headaches. I had to leave work one morning because I couldn't focus my eyes enough to even be able to read.

For the first week, I went to bed every night with the shakes. You wouldn't think that a caffeine withdrawal could do that, and it made me realize how deep I was in it. Random thought: Take away a vegan's juicer and watch them squirm.

After the first two weeks, the majority of the physical issues had resolved themselves. I was still sleeping a lot, but it was my body catching up on sleep lost over the past 8 years, and understandably so.

As of December 16, I was finished, but I decided last minute to extend it another week... just to make sure that I was giving my new habits time to form and take root.

I'm back to drinking coffee again, but within reason now. I have set limits for myself, and I refuse to fall back into where I was a month ago.

I think the thing that hit me the most, was the fact that I was losing my perception of reality to something that was damaging me physically, and mentally. Weird to think that I'm not as invincible as I once thought that I was...

I know it's not the same as being addicted to something like meth or cocaine, but for me, it might as well have been. That stuff wrecked me, and things could have gotten way worse than they were if I had kept heading down my self-paved path of destruction.